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till the day i ___ / every time i close my eyes

by carobae

/

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1.
till the day i ___ 02:49
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verse there’s nights i don’t remember passed out on someone else’s couch and pictures on the internet wish i could pay to get them taken down i crack a beer with someone who’s old enough to be my dad cause he holds all the power to give me all the shit i’ll never have pre i threw up my dinner fuck, no, did i even eat dinner? the industry’s a chokehold dyson vacuum sucking up my soul can’t see straight or think right i look down in my bathroom sink further in my mind chorus will i do this til the day i die? (die, die) all to be a diamond in the sky? (sky, sky) will i do this til the day i verse kill my hair with bleach and hair dye and drain my empty bank account so people will remember but somehow i’m stuck underneath the crowd pre shoot back more liquor sold out and i’ve never been sicker the industry’s a chokehold dyson vacuum sucking up my soul can’t see straight or think right i look down in my bathroom sink further in my mind chorus i feel like i’m dying, but at least I'm trying at least im trying i feel like i’m dying, but at least i’m trying at least im trying
2.
every time i close my eyes 03:02
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verse there’s a dimension in the stratosphere where i’m meeting fans right before the show and my name’s right there on madison square and there’s another with a couple kids stuck in the suburbs but i like it and my name’s right there pre there on the mailbox covered in roses there i’m somebody somebody who doesn’t think like i do now i’ll never know what i’m missing chorus every time i close my eyes i see a whole lot of nothing someone turned out all the lights now i’m a dead girl walking fucked it once then i fucked it twice but you don’t care it’s not your fucking life i’ll be the version of me no one likes every time i close my eyes verse are there other me’s that are up tonight? maybe chicago in the summertime reciting the beers on tap imagine that i’m teaching english in a college town looking for something that i never found and it all makes me sad pre there on the highway covered in roses there i’m somebody somebody who doesn’t think like i do now i’ll never know what i’m missing chorus every time i close my eyes i see a whole lot of nothing someone turned out all the lights now i’m a dead girl walking fucked it once then i fucked it twice but you don’t care it’s not your fucking life i’ll be the version of me no one likes every time i close my eyes i see a whole lotta nothing i really thought i’d see something there but i see a whole lot of nothing nothing every time, every time every time i close my eyes

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released August 4, 2022

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carobae Nashville, Tennessee

these are the things i think of when i’m scared to go to sleep.

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